Saturday morning, November 10th, 2007. It’s 2:25 AM and we begin the first day of shooting in less than four hours.
Checklist:
Various props – check
Fog machine for atmospherics – check
Gallon of overpriced fog juice – check
Lighting equipment (3 modified halogen worklamps + 1 spotlight) – check
Bounce boards – check
Bag o’ stuff including (for the lighting) aluminum foil, gaff tape, heat gloves, wooden clothes pins, and light “gels” with are really just plastic colored binder dividers, extra batteries and cables, camera manual, 2 pairs of noise cancelling headphones, other odds and ends I can’t remember – check
Extension cords of various lengths – check
Storyboards – check
Annotated script – check
Camera tripod – check
Camera battery – check
Camera power supply – check
4 blank camera tapes of 60 minutes each equaling 240 minutes of raw footage - check
Last but not least, the camera – check
I know I’ll forget something.
It’s now 2: 32 AM. I should be marking my script with notes, going over the script, going over the storyboards, but I’m not. I was planning earlier to wake up at 4:30, shower, get ready, and be out the door by 5 AM or so. The drive is only about half an hour or so, but I like getting a head start. I may just stay up, prepare like hell, and just wait for the sun.
So in less than 4 hours I’ll be shooting my movie. Since May – 6 months – I’ve been waiting. My whole life actually. All those painful, aborted projects I started thinking I could do by myself, they don’t matter anymore. This is for real now. I have no idea what I’m doing. At least I don’t think I do.
Last Friday when we all met for rehearsals downtown (Atlanta) I went through the night with the actors trying not to think too much, trying not to second guess my ability. Afterwards, the producer (jamila) pulled me aside.
“Jason, I just want to tell you what a great job you’re doing,” she said. “Out of all the film projects I’ve done…you just really amaze me.”
“You think so…?”
“Yeah, I do. And the actors do.”
I nodded, thought. “Thanks. I just worry they’re thinking ‘this guy doesn’t know what he’s doing.’”
“Nah. But,” she added, “the only thing…the only thing that gives off the fact that you’re green is that you…what’s the word….not humble…but…hmm…self depriving? No, that’s not it. Self degrading, no. Hmm…anyway, we’ll touch base tomorrow.”
We said goodbye, I thanked her again, and began driving home. On the way, I got a text message, looked at it. It was from Jamila. It said, “Self deprecating.”
That was the word. I realized then. It’s okay to be humble, great even. But I needed to stop apologizing. It’s just a subconcious thing one does when they’re new at something. They tend to over apologize.
I smiled, I felt pretty good about the evening.
So then again, looking back on that, maybe I do know what I’m doing. I’ll just play that. Play it as best I can and see where it all goes in a few hours. I’m excited. I’m nervous. Both. Maybe 50 percent excited and 50 percent nervous. Or maybe its 10 nervous and 90 percent excited. I don’t know but that’s what makes it so great.
No sleep.
-ji
November 10, 2007
Categories: The Picture . Tags: , actors, Atlanta, camera, director, excited, filming, humble, lighting, movie, nervous, producer, rehearsals, self deprecating, shooting, tapes, tripod . Author: atomicmambo . Comments: Leave a Comment